windthefrog

once more, with feeling.

I have ignored this blog and come back declaring my good intentions to post regularly SO. Many. Times. I'm like the Chicken Little of blogging. I put on my 42 by 42 list that I'd blog 52 times this year. Uh...epic fail. I have posted a grand total of EIGHT times since that last pronouncement, leaving juuuust a few more to go if I decide I really want to cross this off the list. Maybe...maybe not. I don't think anyone really reads this (except Jaymee - hi!) and I have to ask myself who I'm writing this for, anyway.

I read so many shiny happy blogs of amazing women that are making and posting amazing photography and scrapbooking and DIY projects and have beautifully decorated homes and seemingly amazingly perfect relationships and are writing witty blog posts all the while whipping up gourmet meals and finding time to put the elf on the shelf. It's easy to feel like I have nothing to say that compares. Compared to what? I just need to remind myself to keep my eyes on my own paper. That first of all it's easy to mold your online life into looking amazing if you only post certain parts of your life. But even so, it's really not about that. It's about me feeling like I can't or shouldn't or don't want to post what life is really like so instead I stay silent. 

My word for this year is true. This is the year where I discover my true voice. Follow my true heart. Live the life I truly want to live. I fear judgment and long for approval. Not the most conducive circumstances to voice my feelings where they can be known and judged. This will be my challenge this year. To just put it out there. People may not like my decisions. Or they might. It shouldn't affect my life either way. This is my life and it's about time that I owned it and enjoyed it to its fullest. And they people who may fall away because they don't like me or my decisions never really loved me anyway...not the true me. So anyway. I'm back. At least for this post.

I'm going to try to post more. I'm going to try to be kinder to myself. I'm going to try to figure out who I am, exactly. What I want to say. Stay tuned. Or not... I'm writing this life for me. : )

Rest in peace, Bella girl.

My sister never thought she wanted kids. When she got Bella, her black lab puppy, this was her baby. Always together, she even took Bella to work with her every day while she was a puppy.

You have never seen a dog more showered with love - not spoiled, but well loved for sure. While people might say I'm not an animal lover, I love that people love their pets. So just as I get my nieces and nephews gifts on Christmas, I've always made sure to include Bella, too. Even when baby Raigan came along, Bella was never replaced in Jaymee and Dereck's household.

Bella lived a full and happy life - it just should have been much, much longer. If you go to Jaymee's blog, you can see a great slideshow that shows just a small part of her amazing life. We will miss you, Bella, but it was a pleasure to know you. I hope you are chasing balls in heaven right now. Jaymee, Dereck and Raigan, I am thinking of you sending you so much love. xoxoxo

cross off #11

the super epic rainbow cake has been conquered. I have one very happy 1o year old girl, too. : ) More details from the party later. for now, behold the glory of Roy G. Biv:

[10 on tuesday] - volume 4, the cheater edition

I am just. too. tired. to do a 10 on Tuesday post today... instead I will answer 10 easy questions.

1. no matter what mood i'm in, i can always go for: baskin-robbins mint chip ice cream.
2. my favorite go-to outfit would have to be: favorite jeans. white t-shirt. thin black sweater. (this comes as a shock to no one.)
3. i am so glad my parents taught me: that life isn’t fair.
4. i wish everyone knew about: the proper use of the word its vs. it’s
5. the best thing in my makeup bag is: chap stick
6. my dream spring break vacation spot is: somewhere tropical and beachy with lots of turtles for garrett.
7. a good source of inspiration is: the zillion blogs I have in my google reader. decorating, wisdom, crafts, photography, humor...it's all there.
8. one of my pet peeves is: start with #4 above... also mean people. bad drivers, people who don’t put things away...
9. my favorite daily ritual would have to be: seeing the sun rise.
10. i am trying to be better at: not having so many pet peeves.

 

and on that note...goodnight - at 8:31 p.m.  ZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz   : )

oh!

i forgot - I was going to let Elizabeth know that she was the winner for guessing the closest for the cost of G's braces. The total is... (drumroll....)

$4420

{sob!}

Could they not round it off to an even $4400? What's with the extra 20 dollars? When I go into the office it's always decorated with seasonal doodads and a big 'ol bowl of hershey's kisses (candy? really, at the orthodontist?) I say skip the chocolate and display of stuffed bunnies and give me back my 20 bucks! Please?

 

[10 on tuesday] - the threequel!

They say (who is they, anyway?) that if you do something three times you're on your way to making it a habit. Well look out, world! Three blog posts in 3 weeks! This could be the start of something big...

1. Took Garrett to the doctor today about the adenoids. Got past the first gatekeeper after such questions as, "His adenoids should shrink as he gets older. Are you sure you don't want to wait ?" (Uh...no.) "Nasal spray can help a bit..." (Tried that.) and we have been referred to the ENT. It's not like I'm all gung-ho to put my boy into a surgeon's hands, but I so want him to feel the relief of a full breath of air through his nose and a good night's sleep. Poor guy.

Now...I'm not a doctor but I watch enough Grey's Anatomy to know how to read these charts below. ; ) So this first picture below shows what an adenoid should look like in green. To the right of the green adenoid you see a big dark area which is your airway.

Here is the x-ray from the orthodontist's office. To the left of where I circled is his enormous adenoid. And the teensy tiny black line I circled is his airway. Dude! Get this kid some relief!

2. 

I saw this on a blog the other day. My sister in law Jenny has a little... Nutella...."problem" - and so this person's name made me chuckle. : )

3. More of the lazy garden bonanza - the grape hyacinths are just about gone, but now bring on the tulips.

4. Just in case you didn't know:

5. We're almost done with our taxes and it looks like we may even get some money back. I hate to even put that in print.

6. The blender went missing. Not the whole thing, but the glass part. We make smoothies daily so this was a big loss. I looked everywhere, including a ton of places that made no sense (like the linen closet) over and over. Finally Rich found the evidence in the outside trash tonight. The kids swear it wasn't them, and Mom says she knows nothing about it. The kids donned rubber goves and totally got into crime scene investigation mode. They realized that the only eyewitness was Casper the white goldfish that lives on the kitchen counter, but he's not talking. They have deduced that maybe it was the kids that were playing here the day we all remember seeing it last. It still seems a little fishy (get it? eh? eh?) but since i always hated that blender it's all good. I'm just glad to be able to stop searching!

7. Cinderella is Garrett's leopard gecko. I swear, she is like a supermodel when the camera comes out. Look at her!

She got a little time out and about while she got an extreme tank makeover:

She also gave herself a little makover a couple of weeks ago:

Eeeek. A good reminder that change, and growth, is good. : )

And man does she look good now! I love how both she and Garrett have their tongues out in this one.

8. Garrett is wearing his famous orange sweatshirt in the photo above. But since he wears it pretty much 24/7, this is no surprise. Auntie Jaymee, you are now responsible for the crappy polyester Disney Princess nightgown years ago for Brynne - remember how I had to cut the sleeves off after they melted in the dryer and she still wore it every night?? And now this sweatshirt that's going on its third year and is still fitting like a dress. Ug. I might have to...misplace it. : )Another thing I probably shouldn't have put in print.

9. I read a lot of blogs. Way too many. I've been wondering how to cut it down... but I added a new one today. I lwent to it from Ali's blog and it was like meeting a new friend! She lives in my town, likes to scrapbook, run, hike... and I realized that all the projects I like at the scrapbook store were done by her! Such a small world. I'm sure she will think I am a stalker but I want to be her BFF : )

10. Brynne loves to make things in the kitchen - especially desserts. She whipped up this concoction the other night which was delicious, except that each "scoop" of ice cream was done with a teeny melon baller. Very nouvelle cuisine of her but in my world, ice cream portions need to be BIG : )

Still awake? We've reached the end of another ramble. Tune in next week...or who knows? Maybe I'll get crazy and post before then. Or here's an idea: update my sad photography blog!

[10 on tuesday] - volume 2

1. Brynne and I spent the day shopping together on Saturday. I took her to the Converse outlet and she fell in love with a cool turquoise pair and another pair that is purple and she says looks like dragon skin. The look on her face when I told her every 10 year old girl should have a shoe wardrobe and we were buying her both pairs will stay with me forever. 

2. Cadbury's mini eggs. You will be the death of me.

3. I have a new ride: I have started driving the Prius and Rich is driving my old Corolla. I must say I am enoying such modern amenities as power windows, switching radio stations from the steering wheel and magic electronic locks that unlock when you get close to the car with the keys in your purse! Nice.

4. The Disneyland photo shoot was pretty cool - I got to see the behind the scenes workings of Disneyland and be in the park with no one in it. The shoot went OK too.

5. Realizing I need to start doing my tazes... fast.

6. I went to the "treatment plan" appointment at Garrett's orthodontist today. At the last appointment they took xrays and impressions of his teeth and then this is when the lower the boom and tell you what they need to do and how much it costs. I started chatting wth the orthodontist and for some reason I mentioned that Garrett can never breathe through his nose. He looked back at a side xray of Garrett and told me that his adenoids are HUGE - and showed me the tiny airway that he breathes through. Poor kid! I felt so many things at once: happiness at knowing that there is help for him, sadness for knowing what he has been dealing with, anger at the doctors who told me he just has allergies...i started crying at the orthodontist's office! I think most people probably cry when they see the treatment plan numbers. : ) Anyway. I've made an appointment with Garrett's peditrician and I am hoping for relief for my poor kid soon!

7. Anyone want to guess what these braces are going to cost? 

8. I am thinking this needs to be renamed "7 on Tuesday" - it's hard to come up with 10 things!

9. Muffy is getting ready to go to Montana - so jealous!

10. I am enjoying my kids so much these days. I always enjoy them, but lately it's been even more. Love those two.

10 on tuesday

so maybe the list format will help me blog... let's give it a whirl. : )

1. I am in week 3 of an 8-week boot camp training session at work. We are so lucky; how many people get paid to work out?? Almost our entire company is down with the program. It's super inspiring to see the changes everyone is making. We work out across the street at Ultimate Fitness, where all the mixed martial arts fighters train. On the plus side, it's super convenient to just dash over moments before the workout. But man - there is not enough Febreze in the world to help the smell in that gym. We have two trainers that kick our asses 4 days a week for an hour. It is crazy hard. It hurts to even type this.

2. After all the rain we've been having, we are finally going to have some great weather the next few days. I am so ready.

3. I have checked a few things off the list and am dying to tackle the hallway gallery - wanting it to look a bit like this from Young House Love: 

4. I love this time of year and seeing the things that pop up in the yard on their own. The best kind of gardening!

5. Seeing everything blooming makes me ready to garden. I started some seeds indoors which were doing well, but Brynne's cat dug them up last night. : (  He also chewed up the orchid I got for my birthday. Sigh.

6. I will be at Disneyland on Friday to do a photoshoot for work. Kind of nerve wracking, but kind of cool too.

7. How can this be only #7?

8. I have been growing my hair out ever since the Edward Scissorhands cut in June. It is a painful process...not sure how long I'll be able to hold on.

9. I need to start making some plans for Miss Brynne's big birthday this weekend. Double digits! She doesn't like change, and doesn't want to turn ten. I need to make it special for her. She has requested hamburgers as her birthday meal. We have some plans for her friend birthday party in the works, which will be later this month. I hope I can make it as good as she is imagining.

10. I am in the middle of sorting through all the random papers and pictures and tickets and programs and things that I have saved since the dawn of time...finding some real gems in there. But since my workspace is the main traffic flow in the house, I keep having to put it all away so it doesn't all get stepped on and chewed up by the cat (grr). Wishing for a few days alone to really do it right...

alright! hitting publish on this ramble!

is this thing on?

Yeah...so I fell off the blog bandwagon with quite a loud thump. You know it's bad when someone emails to say, "You know you still have a blog, right?" Oops. The last blog post I wrote I promised to do so much better. And I did, for a while...I unsubscribed from a ton of blogs and started living a little. I still didn't quite get around to blogging about it. But I feel a change coming on! Maybe because it's spring, with all the possibilities that it offers, but I am going to give it another shot. I'm not going to worry about if it's interesting, as I think that was part of the problem before - and just blab it all out here, and we'll go from there. 

Soooo...when we last left off (ahem - about ten months ago...oops) I was talking about my 41 by 41 list. I'll write a whole wrap up post about how it went, but now it's already time to post my 42 by 42 list. I have some exciting things on this list and can't wait to see what this year has in store for me. I already know it's going to be a good one!

 

41 by 41

I find it much easier to sit here and read other people's blog posts than to write my own. I have Google Reader set up, where I enter all the blogs I want to read one time and from then on it tells me when they have new blog posts. I am subscribed to way too many blogs, so it's easy to spend my time reading about other people and what they are doing rather than going out and doing things myself, or writing about my own life. Note to self: set a timer. Unsubscribe from half of those blogs. Life a fun life. Write about it. : )

Anyway... both Jaymee and Elizabeth just wrote about their respective lists of things to do before they turn a certain age, inspired by my list which was inspired by another blog. Then I thought to myself, "huh - where IS my list?" It's hard to be focused on completing it when it's not top of mind. Oops...

I figure I should post it here so I can't lose it and so that I remember to work toward these things before it's too late. : )

41 things before I turn 41

1.      back up all my photo files (don’t ask!)
2.     try snowshoeing
3.     meet my nieces - woohoo! i will in june!
4.     do something creative every week
5.     run a half marathon. preferably faster than I used to… - i would settle for run a 5k at the moment...
6.     go “all electronic” with my music and get rid of all the cds.
7.     learn where our money goes and create a budget.
8.     organize all the random loose photos I have everywhere.
9.     take each kid on a fun adventure, just each of them and me. - garrett and i went mini golfing, but i want more.
10.   plant a colorful happy garden again this year.  - planning on finishing that this weekend!
11.   do something with all the panama photos.
12.   get an iphone (a girl can dream!)
13.   read 5 books. they don’t even have to be great!
14.   work less. - yeah. failing miserably at this one at the moment.
15.   be present more.
16.   try thai food.
17.   throw a party!
18.   ruthlessly purge the house. again. - only one closet and some of the garage left to go!!
19.   ride a zipline.
20.   learn to BBQ.
21.   finish the kids’ school scrapbooks.
22.   go camping again.
23.   get some great family photos taken. - once again our trip in june will take care of this one!! so excited!
24.   see Yosemite in the snow.
25.   design and complete a photobook.
26.   see a good live show.
27.   hang a hallway gallery.
28.   be proficient in shooting in manual mode. - getting closer.
29.   play a game of tennis. - also may happen this weekend!!
30.   take photos in a photobooth.
31.   learn to knit.
32.   explore a new city.
33.   eat better and smarter.
34.   go on a photo safari.
35.   learn back button focus.
36.   get a nikkor 24-70 2.8 lens
37.   take the kids mini golfing
38.   find a word for the year
39.   update my photography website - working on it now...
40.   put new photography pricing and packages in place - this too...
41.   laugh more.

Hope everyone is having a great weekend!